Family members tell their relative who is an Amway distributor not to discuss Amway with them -- the Amway distributor is so excited about the business that they want to do nothing but talk about Amway to their family members. Who is right?
Obviously, the answer to that question will almost always depend on whether you're in Amway or not. Since I was card-carrying distributor at one time, I can tell you that for a long time I also believed that if it was OK for Uncle Joe to talk about his job or hobby at the family reunion, then, by golly, it was OK for me to talk about Amway! Where did I hear that? On tape of course. I was as good as anyone else as hitting the play-back button and repeating what I had heard.
But you know, there is seldom one reason for anything happening. In some cases a distributors complaints about family members turning them off because they are constantly talking about Amway may be legitimate. In some cases, it may be due to other reasons. If you dig just a little deeper, you might just find the source of the rejection.
Is your Amway business more important than your family? Before you say NO, have you been missing important family gatherings to attend seminar/rallies or weekend functions? Are you so busy building your Amway business that you no longer take the time to visit with family members like you used to? Are you spending more time with your Amway family than your real family?
If your answer is yes to those questions, then maybe your vertical alignment is totally out of kilter. All it takes is a little common sense to realize that family members will resent it when you no longer come visit them or start missing important family gatherings, all because of Amway. It's OK every once in a while, but when you consistently choose an Amway function over family, your actions are telling them that Amway is more important than they are. And you really expect them to sit still while you shove more Amway down their throat? It doesn't take a psychologist to figure out what a family member's response will be. You will reap what you sow if your actions consistently tell a family member that Amway is more important than they are.
Of course, many distributors will counter the above statements by making the arguement that if it's OK to miss a family event due to your job, then it should be OK to miss it for your Amway business. They make it seem like EVERYBODY's job consistently conflicts with an individuals personal life. We all know it happens, no matter what your occupation is. But how often? If you travel a lot in your job or consistently work 60, 70, 80 hours a week, then it will happen quite frequently. If your job doesn't require you to travel extensively and you work a pretty normal work week, then it will seldom happen. When there is a conflict, how many of you discuss the conflict with your employer and work out a resolution? I've been in my occupation for 18 years. The number of times that my job required me miss some family event can be counted on one hand. How about you?
Are you speaking your goals into existance in front of your family members? It won't take long for family members to tune you out when they start hearing the same things coming out of your mouth month after month but see nothing happening. They won't think you're Hung By The Tongue when they hear you say over and over again that you're just a few months away from direct when your PV check is consistently only a few dollars and they know that you're spending far more than you're making. They aren't dumb. They hear you lying to them and, more importantly, to yourself. It doesn't take a psychologist to figure out that when you cry "wolf" all the time and nothing happens, you lose credibility.
When the subject of Amway comes up, does the distributor listen to the family member's concerns? Is your zeal for Amway so great that you tune out any concern a family member raises? Most Amway distributors automatically reject anything negative about Amway, even if it's coming from someone they've loved and respected all their life. Someone who has been there for you always, no matter what the circumstances. If you don't listen to them why should they listen to you? Meaningfull conversation is a two-way street. It doesn't take a psychologist to know that a one-sided conversation never lasts very long.
I come from a rather large family with several brothers and sisters and numerous nieces and nephews. There are factory workers, office workers, and college graduates working in technical and academic jobs in my family. Do you think I talk mainframe computer lingo to my siblings who work in a factory? If I start talking about SYSPLEX's, TOR's, and LPAR's (these are real terms I use everyday in my occupation) how long do you think it would take to lose them?
Another example -- I love football. One of my brothers couldn't care less about it. Do you think I waste my time or his talking football with him? Do you think I love him any less just because he has no interest in football? Do you think he might tend to avoid me if everytime he sees me all I can talk about is football?
Some Amway distributors will make the arguement that if a family member rejects Amway, you're rejecting the distributor. That may not be the case at all. If an Amway distributor would just talk to their family members they would probably find out that they still love them and will still stand by them, they just want to stop being annoyed about a subject they have no interest in, just like my brother who has no interest in football.
One final example -- when I got married, everyone in my family welcomed my wife with open arms, except for one sister. They just didn't get along. Fortunately, after a couple of years, the social pressure of the family changed her attitude and now they are the best of friends.
Now what do you think would have happened if every time I talked to my
sister all I could talk about was:
If I had tried to convince my sister to accept my wife in this manner, I dare-say they would probably still be at each other's throat. Yet, the above approach is similar to how many Amway distributors talk to family members about Amway. If all they see is you talking about how great the business is, yet see no results, is it any wonder they tune you out?
In the United States, we enjoy the freedom of speech. But we also enjoy the freedom to choose who we listen to. Racist organizations have the right to say anything they want, but you can't make me listen to them. Republicans have the right to publish pornographic details of zipper-gate, but you can't make me read them. The Radical Religous Right has the right to to say wifes must be submissive to their husband, but my wife won't let me listen to them :o(
Just because an Amway distributor has the right to talk about Amway, doesn't mean you have to listen to what they have to say if that's your choice. Unfortunately, the attitude of many Amway distributors seems to be that you should be submissive to their will and listen to what they have to say, regardless of how you feel about the subject.
And finally, if Amway has consumed your life to the point where nothing else interests you and if all you can talk about under any social circumstance is Amway, I have a couple of suggestions -- First, re-read How To Win Friends and Influence People and then GET A LIFE!
God gave us a wonderful world to enjoy. Your family and friends are worth far more than any materialistic goal that is reached from any business. Anybody who tells you different probably has their hands in your pocket. Your family and friends are the true wealth that you will accumulate in life. All the mansions, luxary cars and jewelry in the world can't replace them.
