Parents Want Their Daughter Back

Dear Scott,

I was just on your website, and I appreciated your own concerns about the Amway Quixtar business that you expressed on your site.  I had always been skeptical of the entire concept of these hand-in-hand businesses and the secretive way in which they try to introduce this 'great program'.  For many years, my husband and I had been approached by friends and co-workers to listen to the plan or to attend unidentified meetings, which I never attended just because I wanted to know before going if it was something I'd even be interested in.  We were fortunate to avoid these lengthy evening get-together, and thankfully have never been involved in either Amway or Quixtar.  Now, however...

Our 20 year old daughter has been caught up in the Quixtar business for about 3 years.  I know it is a cult because I have seen her turn from being a daughter who was always close and loving to her family and a happy girl, to being someone who wants nothing to do with us unless there is something in it for her, such as a sale.  She is also sneaky and secretive (just like the business), sharing nothing with us of her life.  She's listened to tapes regularly during this time, in her car and at home, at night.  She has never made any money because she spends it all on products she uses...most of these products are lacking in quality, such as the toilet paper and paper towels ~ awful stuff!  Any checks she gets are miniscule, and probably amount to nothing more than a minor refund on a couple of products if they were actually added up.  Yet she still pushes for going Diamond, or Double Diamond.  Her boyfriend's parents, who are very successful business people without doing Quixtar, have actually encouraged these two kids and were involved themselves to start with.

Our Daughter has pictures of exotic vacation resorts, fancy cars, and posh homes posted on her bedroom mirror in her apartment.  She thinks people who won't go along with the plan are "stupid", because this is what the tapes repeatedly fill her mind with.  She has been brainwashed...I know this to be true because I no longer know my daughter and I have read all about the signs of brainwashing.  She has become a different person than before she went with Quixtar.  Although  our daughter was raised in a comfortable middle class home where we never placed an emphasis on obtaining 'things' and wealth, she has become greedy, materialistic and snobby.  

We miss our daughter terribly and wish there were some way to bring her back to reality.  She has a terrific day job and likes her independence but wants nothing to do with us anymore because we have not been supportive and we are just not motivated to be successful, the way she is.  We have sat her down to explain it is not the Christian organization she has been brainwashed into believing it is and keeps telling us it is.  She was raised in a Bible preaching church, and there is no place in the Bible that emphasizes wealth as being a person's God-given right, as the Quixtar groups preach. 

One night, my husband and I were invited to attend Dream Night with our daughter's boyfriend's parents.  We did attend just to assuage our curiosity.  My husband was instructed that "a white shirt and tie would be fine", and purposely wore a dark turtleneck under a sports coat.  Believe me, he was the ONLY male in the room wearing a turtleneck.  It was too hard to comply with the uniform. 

Why do these people want to look like clones of one another??

I guess the reason I am writing is to find out if there is any way people who have been deluded into "believing and having faith" in Quixtar as the American dream, can be turned away from it and back to normalcy.  I'd love nothing more than to get back my daughter.

Thanks for any direction you can give me.

Concerned Parents