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Sock Monkeys Throw Going Away Party
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Thur April 28,12:00 PM ET |
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By Scott Larsen
ADA, MI (Amway Parody Press) -
The famous Quixtar Google bombing sock monkeys threw their farewell party for Quixtar's managing director, Ronald McDonald in gratitude
for his help in employing them at Quixtar.
Ronald McDonald, Randy Bancino, and Beth Dornan
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Quixtar Sock Monkeys
rushing to the party
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Quixtar hired the sock monkeys in August as part of their $1 million "Web Reputation" campaign to get
pro-Quixtar placements above their critics in Google's search engine.
Google discovered the intended manilpulation of their search engine results by Quixtar and punished Quixtar be reducing their
search engine ranking from #1 to number 25.
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The monkeys threw the party on short notice due to Mr. McDonald's sudden retirement announcement.
Hot dogs cake and pop were served to the enjoyment of all.
Quixtar public relations vehemently denies that Mr. McDonald's sudden retirement had anything to do with Quixtar's
reduction in search engine placement from #1 to #25, Quixtar's meddling in JAMs/Anderson affair, or Quixtar's inability to
exceed the sales the business had when it was previoulsy called "Amway".
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McDonald's new puppy
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As token of their appreciation the sock monkeys gave Mr. McDonald this little sock puppy, "socks".
McDonald was practically brought to tears by his new puppy. McDonald noted that his new puppy will find a happy home at his
Beaver Island cottage, which he is renovating.
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McDonald as clown
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Asked what he would do in retirement at 55 years of age, McDonald noted he had always wanted to be
a clown and he will help raise money for the Ronald McDonald House charity.
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The sock monkeys also presented McDonald with a picture collage of all of Quixtar sock monkeys.
The sock monkeys were a bit nervous about the future of their jobs due to McDonald's retirement. The failed "web reputation"
campaign may force Quixtar to change its strategy, which would eliminate the need for the keyboard punching sock monkeys.
The monkeys working as firemen in Quixtar's server farm are working out quite well and Quixtar might hire them out to
other e-commerce firms to guard their servers as well.
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