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Quixtar hires Sock Monkeys for Web Initiative
By Scott Larsen
ADA, MI (Amway Parody Press) -
Quixtar Corp. announced today in its ongoing
web initiative,
to combat negative web sites, that they will be employing the help of computer savey sock monekys.
See
Monster.com help wanted ad.
In August, Quixtar rolled out its web initiative to try to obtain better search engine rankings than
their critics' websites. Quixtar's strategy, along with its lines of sponsorship, was to interlink all
these worthless blogs to manipulate search engine rankings to bury the sites critical of Quixtar and Amway.
Since August, Quixtar has built a crack team of keyboard punching sock monkeys, in an effort to
decrease costs for maintining the numerous redundant pro Quixtar
blogs. The strategy is to "spam" the internet search engines.
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Quixtar Sock Monkeys taking a break
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Shown here are Quixtar's latest employees in the battle for search engine placement.
Quixtar came upon the idea to use sock monkeys when they read about a prediction that sock monkeys could eventually
write Shakespeare if there were enough of them and they were just given enough time.
The sock monkeys were hired at first to just cut and paste the same material from web blog to web blog.
Quixtar recently let the sock monkeys have a hand at writing original content for the numerous Quixtar blogs. |
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It seems that Quixtar was not closely watching over the monkeys as one of their recent posts made
no sense at all.
The original "Quixtar Blog" critic site
first found the strange writing of the sock monkeys with this post:
"Quixtar - Becoming Quixtar Diamond Distributors: Quixtar Diamond Terminate Business As Usual"
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Ronald McDonald
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Ronald McDonald, managing director of Quixtar, is shown here with one of the
more senior sock monkeys employed by Quixtar.
Mr. McDonald commented on the recent foul up with the "Quixtar Diamond Terminate Business As Usual" post.
"We can't blame this little guy for what he typed. We won't terminate him like we did all those distributors from Team ANS."
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sock monkeys hard at work
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Mr. McDonald noted that the little sock monkey should not have even had access to the files about the
terminated distributors and it was Quixtar's own fault for giving the cute little guy the idea for the recent blog post.
The Quixtar sock monkeys are shown here hard at work copying and pasting information from one Quixtar blog to another.
Mr. McDonald noted that the sock monekys are very efficient at keeping all the blogs up to date with the same posts.
A quick look at the various line of sponsorship blogs will show how good they are cutting and pasting.
Mr. McDonald did however note that Quixtar's critics still show up with the first few hits of
a search under Quixtar and the Quixtar web initiative is not
as effective as wished.
Ronald McDonald noted that the sock monkeys are very reliable and now work in Quixtar's server farm to
work as firemen to keep the Quixtar IBM computers from melting like they did on Quixtar's opening
day due to all the traffic.
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