|
Man Retires Comfortably from J.O.B at 55!
By Scott Larsen
Ada, MI (Amway Parody Press) -
In news that shocked the Multi-level Marketing world and especially Amway/Quixtar, a man named "Ken" has announced his retirement
at just age 55 as an employee from a lesser known multi-billion dollar corporation called Alticor.
The man had been an employee with the firm for 28 years. He started with the company in 1977.
"Ken" noted that he was not an Amway/Quixtar distributor and he was able to accomplish this feat without
havng any residual income from any Amway/Quixtar distributorship.
|
The man reported to have retired
|
Ron Puryear, a spokesman for the Amway/Quixtar Distributor's board of directors, said that he doubted the news and shrugged it off
as a mere rumor. "It is impossible for anyone working a J.O.B. to accumulate enough wealth to retire comfortably let alone at
the unheard of early age of 55", noted Puryear.
|
|
Beaver Island
|
The man who retired apparently accumulated enough money working a job to secure a second home on
posh Beaver Island in Michigan. Second homes were things usually reserved for Amway/Quixtar Kingpin distributors and the
dream's of their downlines.
|
|
Dexter Yager age 70+
FED August 2004
in the Czech republic
|
Amway/Quixtar Crown Ambassador Dexter Yager also discounted the amazing announcement. Yager said "we all know employees are nothing
more than modern day slaves. No slave ever retired.
They all worked until they died in the fields at the hands of their masters. Just like employees today".
Yager went on to explain that only Amway/Quixtar distributors can retire early. Only Amway/Quixtar has the 2 to 5 year
plan and employees must work the 40 year/40 hour plan. Yager noted that J.O.B. stood for "Just Over Broke" and
that it is impossible for anyone to retire early, let alone comfortably, without being in Amway/Quixtar.
|
|
Ron Puryear
|
Amway Triple Diamond, Ronald Puryear, cited a study to
refute the probablility that this man actually retired. Mr. Puryear noted "according to
the American Banker's Association, 98% of people are dead or broke before the age of 65".
We have this statistic printed on all PFR training materials so that we can scare people into joining our
private franchising business. Mr. Puryear noted the study was found in the
1934 Senate hearings before the enactment of Social Security.
The 20,000 study participants were all born before the American civil war.
|
|
Ken - retired
|
"Ken" said his retirement was going to include working on his Beaver Island home, taken' it easy with his new
puppy "Socks", and possibly throwing back a few brewskies with the guy down the street who
carves totem poles.
Unlike retired Amway/Quixtar distributors Ken will not be showing the plan, doing follow up meetings, traveling on weekends to
Amway/Quixtar major conventions or monthly seminars, counseling with downline IBOs, distributing quality Amway products,
collecting message from Amvox, distributing tools to the downline, attendling PV parties, leadership meetings, or attending Tuesday night open meetings.
|
|
