Amway distributor goes 15 years with out sleeping


Amway / Quixtar's Finest Fake News Source 15 July 2005
Amway Distributor Hasn't Slept for 15 Years Distributor won't sleep until he's Diamond
Prosperity, South Carolina (APP) In what is a new world record, Team DCI Emerald distributor admitted that he hasn't slept in 15 years. The previous world record holder was Randy Gardner in 1965 when he managed to go without sleep for 11 days.
Jan 1996 Emerald Amagram Chad & Michelle Connelly	In an exclusive interview with Amway Parody Press, Emerald distributor Chad Connelly revealed that he had a goal to not sleep until he was a certified Amway (now Quixtar) Diamond distributor. When asked what prompted him to set a goal he mentioned that many of the motivational tapes he had listened to mentioned, that "you can sleep after you go diamond". "I thought this was pretty good advice so I decided to work this business 24/7" "The people in this business will not lead you astray and would do nothing to hurt you." "It made sense to me, that is, work hard for 2-5 years and say good bye to the 40 hour, 40 year plan". "So I set it as a personal goal to make diamond, and not sleep until I do.", noted Connelly. "Since 1990 I have been hitting this business hard. Diamond is my goal, and that is when I will sleep."
When asked if he had any help in staying awake for so long, Connely noted that since the introduction of the Quixtar XS energy drink things have been much easier for him. "Consuming all that XS energy drink has really up'ed our PV points." "I drink about 10 cans a day so I get 49,000% of my minimum daily requirment of vitamin B12, and there is no more caffeine than 10 cups of coffee" When asked when he thought he might go Diamond Connelly noted, "the business is awesome right now. "It is blowing my mind how fast we are growing." "I figure next year about January I should be able to enjoy my first sleep in 15 years." Connelly has even written a song titled "I'll sleep when I'm Diamond".
I'll Sleep When I'm Diamond (To the music of Warren Zevon's song that goes, "I'll sleep when I'm dead.") So much to do, there's plans to be shown I'll sleep when I'm Diamond Sunday night there's calls on the phone I'll sleep when I'm Diamond I'm drinking Active Eight and XS energy drink I'll sleep when I'm Diamond Straight from the can, so I can think I'll sleep when I'm Diamond Well, I show the plan since I am retired I'll sleep when I'm Diamond It don't matter if I get a little tired I'll sleep when I'm Diamond I've got a my XS up on the dash I'll sleep when I'm Diamond It will keep me out of a crash I'll take a swig I'll sleep when I'm Diamond So much to do, there's plans to be shown I'll sleep when I'm Diamond Sunday night night there's calls on the phone I'll sleep when I'm Diamond

Amway Distributor Hasn't Slept for 15 Years

Distributor won't sleep until he's Diamond

Amway Distributor Hasn't
Slept for 15 Years