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    Amway / Quixtar's Finest Fake News Source           March 11, 2005

Dr. Teeth & the Electric Mayhem newest
musical star at Quixtar conventions

(APP) - Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayham have come out of retirement and are hitting the Amway/Quixtar convention circuit as the newest hit musical group.  The "Electric Mayham" is slowly replacing the Goads as the musicians of choice by Amway/Quixtar lines of sponsorship

Dr. Teeth has taken the lime light with his new hit "money" audio.gif (929 bytes).   IBOA diamonds note Dr. Teeth's popularity is enhanced by his golden tooth which reminds IBOs of Dexter Yager's golden jewelry. 

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Text of the popular "money" Quixtar song

don't want no lovin'
don't want no kissin'
don't want no gal to call me honey

don't want my name in the hall of fame
just want a big fat pile of money

give me that all mighty dollar for that lettuce every hollar
give me bucket full of duckets
let me walk around and waller
in Mazuma el donaro, wanna be a millionairo
give me money money money money money money

I want that green amunition that's the stuff for which I'm wishing
fill my closets with deposits
I'm a demon at addition
give me shackels, give me pesos, let me see their smiling faceos
money money money money money money

I wanna get me a suit
that's made out of loot
and whistle to wear it in green

I've got that monetary eye that's being like King Midas
want that golden touch is what I need

give me that old double eagle
'want that tender that is legal
and financially substantially any sum I can envegel
I want to live in regal splendor
with that lovin' legal tender
money money money money money money

I'm a greenback collector
I'm a paper bill inspector
I'm a savage for that cabage
man to me it's golden necter

Pour that filthy looter on me
spread those lovin' germs upon me
money money money money money money

and if they ever plant trees of E Plurbus Unum
I wana be the guy sent out to prune 'em
oh money!