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    Amway / Quixtar's Finest Fake News Source           Nov 9,  2005

Dear Abby Debuts at Amway Parody Press

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 d.GIF (1316 bytes)ear Abby, I never thought I would be writing you.  I must admit I secretly read your column everyday even though as a faithful system following Amway/Quixtar Diamond Lady I am not supposed to read newspapers or watch TV.   I am the lonely wife of a very successful Amway/Quixtar diamond distributor and I am at wits end with my husband's obsession with Internet critics of the Amway/Quixtar business.    My husband's obsession has been going on for years now and has recently gotten worse.    He locks himself up in his office and he surfs all the  websites critical of Quixtar each and every day to see if any of them have written something new about him or the Quixtar business.  He hangs on the critic's every word and comes down from his office steaming mad when something new is written about him.   He is extremely paranoid and he can't handle any criticism of the business.  He has become so drawn up into these Internet critics he has not been showing the plan as often as before.  I think I might need to hold back sex from him as I was taught by my upline if he does not get back out on the road and show more plans.   I'm afraid to counsel with our upline about my husbands behavior and decided to ask you for your opinion first.   I'm getting tired of waiting for him to change. 

Lonely and Waiting

Dear Lonely and Waiting, Your husband certainly needs to get a grip on how things function in the real world.   He has obviously has not been in living in it for years now. Unfortunately most Amway/Quixtar diamonds have little contact with the outside world and have become so idolized and worshiped by the constant attention from their downline that they have lost all sense of reality.  In their own little isolated Amway/Quixtar world they are the head honchos and have complete control of every situation.  They can control the actions and thoughts of their downlines. To be to the point, your husband has become a control freak.  Once they have to interface with the real world, where they do not command the control, they start to adopt obsessive behaviors.  The rules of the real world are different from that of the Amway/Quixtar world.  In Amway/Quixtar everybody loves you and and no one criticizes you.  If you have a problem with someone in your downline you just cut them off; stop showing the plan for them or stop paying them their tools bonuses. This loss of control in areas outside of the business drives them to this obsessive compulsive behavior such as your husband's. 

Your husband needs to seek professional help as soon as possible, and from someone not in the Amway/Quixtar business.  He cannot continue to delude himself that the whole world must love and adore him.  He must learn to accept the fact that he cannot control everything, especially those things outside of his little confined Amway/Quixtar world.

Abby