Quixtar "Q" Borg

Shown here is the new Quixtar Borg, fabricated exclusively for Quixtar. The Borg had no problems adapting their spherical Borg design into a giant "Q" shaped Borg. The Quixtar leadership was quite impressed with the results.

Quixtar hopes to use the Q-Borg to travel back in time to change the course of history and erase all records of the Postma Memo, the Blakey report and the Rich DeVos Direclty speaking tapes.

Ken McDonald

Ronald McDonald, managing director of Quixtar, shown here modeling one of the new Borg "E-Spring" hydration packs, said this about the new partnership. "The Borg are experts at computer networking and assimilation of biological and computer systems. It is high tech and high touch at its finest. The Borg's expertise in networking will help us once and for all burry those pesky confederate websites in the search engines. Resistance by the confederate websites will be futile!"

Mr. McDonald also mentioned that the Borg has been contracted to help "assimilate" new IBOs so that 100% of them renew. Mr. McDonald noted that Quixtar's 1st year IBO renewal rate was a dismal 32%.

Cool Cube Computer (C³) from Borg

Bill Blog, also announced an alliance with Borg Computers Inc. Bill had this to say. "As you all know our IBM computers melted at Quixtar. The IBM computers plain suck. You all know this from my tapes. Being an engineer I cannot understand how IBM could build such poor computers that they would melt in service. Borg Computers Inc. understands our need for computers that do not melt. IBM needs to learn Michael Dell's three C's. Cooling, and Climate Control!

Bill noted. "As an engineer you must marvel the Borgs inovations in optimizing heat transfer out of the C³ computer. The surface texture was computer modeled to provide the maximum convective and radiative heat transfer. This computer won't melt like those junky IBM's. We are encouraging all the Quixtar IBOs to throw away their IBM's and buy the new Borg Cool Cube Computer (C³). After all it is tax deductible."

Jody Victor

In yet another Borg-Quixtar alliance, Jody Victor, one time president of the IBOA, demonstrates the newest edition to the Quixtar "E-Spring" water purification product line developed with the help of the Borg. The unit was actually copied from the Borg's standard hydration pack design. It is a self-contained hydration system with a build in water purifier. The new system requires no external water supply. The user is actually "in-line" with the system. "We want to call it the "You're in!" line" noted Mr. Victor.

"With this system you never need to worry about where you will find the next restroom. The "You're in!" hydration pack takes care of it for you!", noted Mr. Victor. The system is designed to precisely maintain your body's optimum hydration by monitoring and measuring the fluids used by your body. The "you're in" system is ideal for those long Amway/Quixtar functions. With the "You're in system", you'll never miss that valuable moment, that might make you millionaire, at the next major function waiting in a line for the restroom or at the concession stand.

The system is the combination of a Camelback and the newest E-Spring water purification system. When you are thirsty, you just take a drink from the tube attached to your cheek. You needn't worry about where this water came from because it's "you're in" "the worlds best source of water"! You can trust the source! Retail cost is $1000, IBO cost is $750 (350PV/800BV)

Internet Blog Operators Association (IBOA)

Shown here are various members of the Internet Blog Operators Association doing a product demonstration of the "you're-in" hydration system. Don Wilson, Fred Harteis, Jody Victor, Billy Florence, Brett Deimler, and various memebers of the Quixtar staff.