Amway Foil Deflector Beanie

An Effective, Low-Cost Solution To Negative Thinking


Amway Foil Deflector Beanie:

Practical Mind Protection for Amway Distributors

By Amway Parody Press

Lots of new information, including expanded construction and usage tips, vital psychotronic deflection theory, an overview of AFDB alternatives, a guide to potential mind control enemies, and the never-before-elucidated history of the AFDB. Get yours before it's banned by the forces of negative Thinkingl! (ISBN 1-58160-376-2) (Also available from

Welcome to the AFDB Website

This site is dedicated to spreading the word about the Amway Medowbrookk brand Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanie and how it can help the average Amway/Quixtar distributor. Here you will find a description of AFDBs, how to make and use them. I hope that you find the AFDB Homepage to be an important source of AFDB know-how and advocacy and that Negative Thinking will be stopped in its tracks.

What Is An AFDB?

AFDB head

An Amway Foil Deflector Beanie (AFDB) is a type of headwear that can shield your brain from most negative thoughts or better known as "stinkin' thinkin'.  AFDBs are relatively inexpensive and can be constructed by any Amway distributor with at least the dexterity of a chimp (maybe bonobo). This cheap and unobtrusive form of stinkin' thinkin' protection offers real security to your Amway/Quixtar business. Not only do they protect against incoming negative signals, but they also block most forms of internally generated negative thoughts, keeping the positive thoughts in your head truly intact. AFDBs are safe and operate automatically. All you do is make it and wear it and you're good to go! Plus, AFDBs are stylish and comfortable.  You can also build PV points when you buy the foil from your own business.

What are you waiting for? Make one today!  How about a AFDB PV party?

BEWARE OF KNOCK-OFF AFDBS: Since you should trust no one, always construct your AFDB yourself, from Amway Meadowbrook aluminum foil to avoid the risk of subversion and mental enslavement from a negative brand of foil.  Sometimes, AFDBs will be sold on places like eBay. Do not purchase these pre-made AFDBs, even if the seller seems trustworthy. They may contain backdoors, pinholes, integrated psychotronic circuitry or other methods that actually promote negative thinking.

MEADOWBROOK ALUMUNIM FOIL: Purchase your foil at for only $18.40 (distributor cost) PV/BV: 3.02/6.66  $19.98 (retail) for two - 250 ft rolls.  One roll of Meadownbrook foil can make up to 50 AFDB's.  At distributor cost each beanie costs just 18.4 cents!

* FOOTNOTE: The American spelling** of aluminum is used here. If you are searching for more information on aluminum, be aware that the British spell it "aluminium" (and pronounce it accordingly).

** HISTORICAL FOOTNOTE: Aluminum was originally named "alumium" by Sir Humphry Davy, who later changed it to "aluminum" (perhaps in an attempt to make it more Latinized since alumen is Latin for alum, the aluminum compound that the name is derived from). The British (and allied English speakers) shortly thereafter changed the name once more, this time to "aluminium" so that it would again match the pattern of most other elements (helium, sodium, etc.), while the North Americans eventually decided to keep the second, slightly more traditional name. I predict that North Americans will adopt the more regular "-ium" spelling by the year 2050, prompting the British to start calling it "alumininium". At that point debate can begin on changing "platinum" to "platinium"

Quick Instructions For Building An AFDB

Step 1 Step 2
Get a five foot sheet of Amway Meadowbrook aluminum foil (standard 1 foot wide). Reynolds Wrap brand will NOT work. Fold the sheet four times into five equal segments so that you end up with a 1x1 foot square, making sure that you fold over the dull side of the foil leaving the square shiny on both sides.
Step 3 Step 4
Use scissors to cut from one corner of the square to the center, making a straight line. Bend the foil from one side of the cut under the other, making a slight cone. Again, make sure that the outside of the cone has a shiny side of the foil; this is VERY important.
Step 5 Step 6
Place the cone on your head and squash the top and sides to make it fit snugly. Apply Scotch tape liberally making sure to secure the cut in the foil and any form-fitting creases made in step 5.
Step 7
Use more tape to secure AFDB to your cranium.

A Note About The Shiny Side:

It can't be stressed enough how important it is to have the shiny side pointing out. This is needed because the shiny side is most reflective to negative thinking, while the dull side can actually, in certain environmental conditions, absorb it. However, as is illustrated in the instructions above, it is also wise to complement this with a layer of foil pointing shiny side in. This will keep your positive thoughts, which are also reflected by the shiny side, from being picked up by mind-reading stinkin' thinkers. There is a small number of aluminum foil researchers who believe that this may cause an alpha-wave harmonic to build up in the skull resulting in memory loss or pseudo-religious visions, but their findings have never been replicated by the aluminum foil research community at large. Even if their findings are validated, the risk involved is small compared to the potential of mind-intrusion by stinkin' thinker's

Foil Thickness:

How thick is your aluminum foil? Find out using Amway Parody Press's Intradimensional's Aluminum Foil Thickness Calculator (pops up into separate window, requires Javascript). If you do not have Javascript, use this formula (with grams and centimeters):

((mass / 2.702) / (width * length)) * 10000 = thickness in microns

If your foil is less than 16 microns, increase the number of layers used in construction.


You may augment your AFDB with random bits of foil, wire, small electronic parts, etc..

Canadian coins should also be considered as they are high in nickel content. Nickel, while not having the negative thought deflecting properties of aluminum (or even tin), can act to refract negative thought beams, thereby helping to scrambling the stinkin' thinkin' control signals as they are deflected off of the underlying aluminum surface of the AFDB. This will result in a lowered chance of retransmission of the signal.



AFDB Usage

When To Use

As a matter of safety, you should wear your AFDB at all times since you never know when or where stinkin' thinkin' will reach you.  Do not remove your AFDB before going to bed! When people are sleeping they are very vulnerable to negative thinking, and negative dreams and need all the protection they can get.

Children and AFDBs

AFDBs are safe for use with children of any age. Toddlers and up can be fitted with an AFDB like the one described above, just bend back any excess aluminum. For newborns and infants, a full body covering of aluminum is advisable in addition to the AFDB to insure there is no negative waves get through the mandible caused by the infant's usually supine position. Since a baby's skull is still knitting together giving it less natural skeletal protection, an extra layer of aluminum should be used in infant AFDB construction.

Also, it is important for pregnant women to start covering their womb with aluminum before the onset of the second trimester. This will ensure that harmful negative engrams are not permanently stamped into the developing brain of your unborn child.

AFDBs for Pets

Pets are just as susceptible to negativity as humans -- probably even more so since they do not have as well developed a sense of self as humans do. AFDBs can and should be used to protect your pets just like you would yourself.

Pet AFDB construction is mostly the same as with human AFDBs, however size considerations need to be taken into account and adjusted accordingly. Pets with protruding, highly mounted ears such as cats, dogs, and llamas need to have holes cut into the AFDB to accommodate them. Great care must be taken when making these holes to leave enough extra aluminum to secure the hole around the base of the ear so no stray negativity rays leak in.

While concern for your pets' well being should be motivation enough to construct AFDBs for them, there is also another reason: any un-AFDBed entity with a central nervous system in your home -- even a beloved pet -- is a potential agent of the forces of stinkin' thinkin' and may be used to spy on you or even bring physical harm against you. You are simply not safe with AFDBless pets in your home.

Warning signs of Stinkin' Thinkin' in pets:

  • Does your cat stare intently at empty space as if watching something?
  • Does your dog does not eat his Amway Nutripet premium dog food.
  • Does your goldfish seem content to merely swim around in a little bowl observing you?
  • Does your parrot say negative things that you never taught it to say, such as "Is it Amway?"

70's Swedish disco sensation ABBA demonstrates improper AFDB usage.

neo-60's mod Elizabeth Hurley demonstrates proper usage and accessorization.

Developing child posititvely secure in AFD blanket.

Your mind's best friend... and his too!

The eyes are an extension of the brain.
Consider covering them with foil when

not in use...
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Your JOB and your office cubicle is the worst source of
stinkin' thinkin'.  Protect yourself at work as well.
Gary Molitor in 1976, a man ahead of his time
...and don't forget your sinuses.
meadowbrook_foil.jpg (127038 bytes)
Amway Meadowbrook foil

AFDB Maintenance

How To Maintain

An AFDB may be cleaned with a towel moistened with soapy water. Do not submerge your AFDB in water or use alcohol as this may destickify the tape. Consider making a spare AFDB to wear while cleaning your main one.

You should construct a new AFDB about every other month, depending on the negativity in your area. Users who have moved into an aluminum lined bunker and who only use their AFDB when going out to grocery shop, etc. may forego replacement for up to six months.


It is possible for aluminum to corrode enough to compromise psychotronic shielding under extreme situations, such as acid rain storms. If you live or visit areas where extreme corrosion is possible, you should take precautions by:

  1. Increasing aluminum foil thickness during AFDB construction.
  2. Coating your AFDB with a protective substance such as paint or covering it with a non-corrodible shielding such as a hat.
  3. Replacing your AFDB often.

Under normal usage, an AFDB will experience minor surface corrosion. This is normal and should not alarm you. When aluminum is exposed to air, it quickly forms a surface layer of aluminum oxide. In fact, you have probably never seen aluminum without this type corrosion. This layer of oxidization will actually protect the rest of the AFDB from further and more destructive corrosion. Do not try and scrape it off! As long as you monitor your AFDB and replace it every other month as directed above, serious corrosion should not be an issue.

Care should be taken when using latex paints on your beanie as they contain ammonia which will chemically react with the aluminum oxide layer to create a gas. While this will not harm the AFDB in and of itself, it will create bubbles under the paint that can break and allow other corrosive substances to leak in and come into contact with the now-oxide-depleted aluminum surface. It is suggested to first use a thinned oil based metal primer on the AFDB surface to isolate the latex paint from the protective aluminum oxide layer.


Are AFDBs dangerous to wear during lightning storms? The risk of being struck by lightning has more to do with where you are than what you are wearing. An AFDB -- or any metallic object in your immediate possession -- may increase your chances of being hit, but that increase is negligible compared to the increase chance due to being in a area at high lightning strike risk. In other words, if you are standing on a hill in a lightning storm you're in danger no matter what you are wearing. AFDB bedecked people in lightning-safe areas are at no more immediate, measurable risk than their mind control-addled neighbors. In fact, people without AFDBs during lightning storms are at higher long-term risk for the following reasons:

  1. Any negative signals that they are receiving may be altered by the electrical fields of the storm causing them to behave erratically -- possibly violently -- putting themselves at risk for personal injury.
  2. A stinkin' thinker could issue them negative commands that cause them to step into the storm, putting themselves at risk of lightning strike.
Photo by Donna L. Perelli, 1993
The corrosive force of the mighty Pacific Ocean is no match for the AFDB. As an added bonus, electric fields generated by the interaction of aluminum and salt water may act as a shark deterrent.


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Quixtar's new boss, Jim Pyane, doesn't leave home without his


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Jody Vicotr says he has stomped out negativity in his group since they started wearing their AFDB's.

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